dutton

Australian Minister for Immigration and Border Protection Peter Dutton has mysteriously turned into a newt just days after accidentally sending a journalist a text describing her as a mad witch.

“We can confirm that Mr Dutton was suddenly and inexplicably changed into an amphibian,” said departmental spokesperson Tabitha Stephens. “He is being kept in a clean cage and fed a healthy diet of flies. Unfortunately the newt is not a native species of Australia and we are looking into transporting him into some kind of offshore quarantine facility.”

The department has contacted author JK Rowling in an effort to change the minister back into his old self.

“What a horrible, lizard faced lower life form,” said Rowling when shown a photograph of the stricken minister. “And he doesn’t look much better as a newt. Still if you think it’ll be an improvement I can tell you a spell that will…

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